Change is Good: I’ll Go First!

The only constant thing in our lives is change. However, few people like -- much less love -- changing. There are many famous quotes about change, all conveying the same general message: that change is inevitable and scary, but good. Any time we make a change in life, whether we initiated that change or it was forced upon us, we have a choice to make: to embrace it, or fight it. But what about the process that’s involved in making that choice? The change process can be extremely difficult so here are some ideas to help you through it.
Change is not only common in our lives, it is an overriding theme in nature. Witness the seasons, tides, sun setting and rising, life cycle of plants, etc. Heck, our own aging process is proof positive of constant change.
But change is not easy to manage.


For starters, the hyper pace of life these days doesn't leave much time for us to process change anymore. However, the biggest factors that make us resist change are self-imposed. We spend a lot of time "thinking" about upcoming or imminent changes, but not actively planning or managing them. We also suffer from complacency as we get caught up in our "same old" routines and structures. We sometimes do this because of the fear of the unknown. Yet other times, we resist change because of a lack of trust or low confidence as to whether we will be able to effectively manage the change.
I have had several major transitions so far in my life. One was my career location transition of leaving  Jos Plateau state to relocate to Lagos and resume another job and now from Lagos to Ghana. I had mixed feelings especially for the fact that i didnt see any prospects for me in Ghana.Thinking back to all of the major transitions I have gone through, for each one, I had mixed feelings, which can be characterized as bittersweet. On one hand, I was excited about what was on the horizon and eager to explore the new adventure, but on the other hand, I was fearful and anxious about walking away from what I was leaving.

Invariably, with every change or transition, huge opportunities, successes and unexpected blessings awaited me as soon as I embraced the change. The process that I experienced while deciding to embrace the change is a psychological one and is the typical path that people take when embarking on a change of any kind. You've probably heard of the stages of grief that are experienced when we suffer the loss of a loved one. And while that is an extreme example of change, it does serve as a powerful lesson for dealing with change of all kinds.

First, you experience shock, accompanied by denial. This is when you feel like a victim, experience change as something happening to you and out of your control. Second, you experience fear; most people internalize this emotion. Generally, this stage is when a person will be withdrawn and quiet as they go through the fear of the unknown in their mind. In the next stage, people often externalize their emotions and express anger and frustration, accompanied by strong resistance and bargaining. The last stage is acceptance. Ah… this is when you accept the change and are at peace with it. This is also when good change managers move into action mode.
Take a step back and scrutinize your relationship to change. Here are some tips to help guide you.
Plan for the Change
Preparing and planning for change in a proactive manner is the most critical step to change management. Focus on what you are doing in an honest manner. Each person's specific change management issues are unique. Take into consideration your strengths and weaknesses, personality style, and preferences.
Stay Positive
Change often starts with a new beginning, but it also includes an ending – with letting go of old attitudes and behaviors. Transition is a difficult process for anyone, but some people deal with it better than others. Focus on what you could gain, instead of what you could lose. Think of the transition as running towards something (the new change) as opposed to running away from something (the thing you are leaving behind or changing from). Rewards may await you on the other side.
Let Go
Make room for change in your work and life. Don't hold on so tightly to what is safe that you strangle your openness and willingness to change. Stop holding onto the illusion that just because something is familiar, it is good. Indeed, change could lead to something better!
Are you one step ahead of change, or at least

Is Change Something to Fear or Something to Embrace?

The world around us has started changing at an ever increasing rate. Everything seems to have become more and more interconnected. Events outside your industry and sphere of influence, very often have a huge influence on your business, family and your wallet. It is for this reason that, if you want to prosper. Your daily routine and activities can no longer be insular and based on a narrow world perspective. Everything we do, in both our business and private capacity, is affected in some way or other by social, technological, political, economic or cultural changes virtually every day.

So it follows that, anyone who wants to be successful today, must consistently survey and understand their environment and the world at large. Not to do so is naïve and will leave you unprepared to innovate or able to respond to any changes or challenge, which any change may present to you or your business. Stop listening to the people who constantly say that you do not need to be well informed to succeed, as you can seldom do anything about the change anyway. You may not be able to affect the change in any way, but you can most certainly respond to the change and limit the effect it will have on you and your business or even innovate and take advantage of the change and create a new opportunity.

Newspaper Editorial Sums it Up
“The world is too big for us. Too much going on, too much crime, violence and change. Try as you will, you get behind in the race. It’s an incessant strain to keep pace and still you lose ground. Science empties its discoveries on you so fast that you stagger beneath them in hopeless bewilderment. Everything in business and life is high pressure. Human nature can’t endure much more!”

Have an Effective System to Survey Your World
Change is not something new, but your choice about how you will survey and respond to change, had better be. You can no longer avoid becoming a casualty of all the bad news around you and bury your head in the sand. You must design an effective system of alerts and selectively survey your environment using twilerts, selectively reading newspaper articles, subscribing to informative and valuable news alerts and even following carefully selected blogs.
Take the initiative and find innovative ways to observe your world. It is time to stop “stewing” and complaining about change and to start “doing” something about it. When you are watching your world, you are able to see any early warning signs, which may warn you of any impending changes in your industry, region, business or personal life. You can seldom innovate, if your understanding of change is misinformed, outdated or incomplete.
Success Depends on Innovation

Succeeding today is dependent on your creative capacity, how well you can make decisions, your affinity to successfully solve problems and your ability to innovate in the face of change. New technology is often the driver of economic or social change, but there are also opportunities to use existing technology in new and innovative ways.

Don’t just collect Information, Interpret it and Create New Ways of Doing Things
succeeding today is dependent on how well you can think. You won’t earn any extra income, because you have a fantastic system for exploring your world, where you sort, store and retrieve information or can you? What if you offered a new innovative way for clients to survey their world, where you sorted through the clutter of information all around, but only supplied them with the targeted information they needed? Could that not be an innovative way of creating a new business opportunity for you or your business?

The challenge is that not all of us are experts at surveying our world and it is unlikely that we will be able to convert this into income. Our role as business leaders is to find ways to sort through the clutter of information all around us and then to interpret it. We then need to create and implement new innovative ideas, which will allow us to utilise the inevitable change all around us, rather than allowing change to overwhelm us.

Action Idea: Strive to have an open and inquiring mind at all times and consistently ask yourself these questions:
What is changing in my world?
How can I use these changes to create new opportunities?
How can I add value to my current products or services, as a result of the change?
Is there any new technology available, which can help me or my business?
How can I adapt current technology to do things better or faster?
Are there any new trends, which offer new opportunities?
The quality of your life or business is most certainly the product of the quality of questions you consistently ask. Keep adding or removing questions to your own list of change questions and over time you will become a champion of change. Breakthrough ideas often emerge, when you keep an open exploring mind and you consistently are on the lookout for new opportunities.

Letting go of struggling…

                                                                   Have you ever thought to yourself, “I really need to let this go…” and yet continued to hold onto the mind chatter. Perhaps continuing to complain, blame, or possibly wonder what to do about a situation that happened sometime in the past. By acting in this manner, you are preventing yourself from moving forward. Maybe you are still trying to change what was said or unsaid. Maybe on some level you are wishing things could be still be different. Perhaps if you are still angry or disappointed about what occurred. Or maybe you are still reviewing or repeating what happened at dinner last evening, last month, or perhaps years ago. Whenever we are rehashing something over and over in our mind, it is an indication that we are S-T-U-C-K.
 Regardless of what occurred, or when it happened, if we are stuck and still trying to change what has already occurred – this pattern suggests that we are still holding onto stories from the past in hopes of being right. Our replaying of stories is what is keeping us from being at peace. Instead of holding in mind a peaceful resolution, we are holding in mind figuring out how to change the past. Blaming ourselves or others for what has already occurred is also adding more negativity to an already negative situation. These attitudes aren’t capable of fixing or changing anything. Most likely, these negative thought processes are only creating more tension and frustration.
In truth our thoughts create our reality and not the other way around. Situations come into our experience because of our having had a thought, or many thoughts about that particular occurrence at some previous time. Whenever we are disapproving of a situation, it is clear that we are also avoiding taking responsibility for what we created. Therefore nothing changes if we are stuck in the past and struggling to accept what happened. Please accept we can’t change the past by trying to figure out what happened or why it happened as it did. We can, however, change how we feel about what has occurred from the past. Realistically, if we are focused on changing the past, we are also avoiding living in the present. By concentrating on past events, our mindset is actually focused on recreating those exact situations to reappear at a future time. Furthermore, our being focused on changing the past also prevents us from experiencing new and improved opportunities for consideration and enjoyment.
Instead of continuing to struggle, please just give yourself permission to just make a decision to do something else…, to move forward in a peaceful and positive manner…, and most importantly to be Ok with whatever happened in the past. By deciding to accept past events as Ok, frees us from tormenting ourselves. If we can recognize that we are choosing to remain unforgiving or resentful, we can also accept that those attitudes aren’t positive or helpful in creating a peaceful or favorable outcome. In reality, if we continue struggling to change the past, we are also sabotaging ourselves from allowing those relationships or situations to fully heal.
Moving forward is accepting that we are done rehashing the past. It is also deciding to let go and let God help us to build a bridge of forgiveness and recovery. Struggling is choosing misery over acceptance. Struggling is creating adversity and effort. Nothing positive or peaceful can occur if we are struggling. It truly isn’t possible. The only good that struggling can offer to us is a glimpse of seeing what we are holding in mind. If we can see we are in disharmony about the past, it gives us an opportunity to create something new and more to our liking.
Choosing to be in harmony is about living in the present and seeing everything appearing in an effortless manner. There is absolutely no pushing, pulling, or manipulating of ourselves or others. Being peaceful is also about being content. It’s deciding when life hands out lemons that we are making lemonade. Letting go of the struggle is also making the decision to let go of being right. It’s making choices that allow all parties to have a positive resolution and outcome. I’m Ok, and allow for you to be Ok. It is also deciding that all parties can have an amicable existence. Trust that you are the only person that can decide when you are ready to let go of struggling. Perhaps that it a decision you might decide to make at this time, instead of postponing your happiness and continuing to struggle. You can be happy now or at some time in the future. The choice is, and always will be, yours. Why not decide in favor of peaceful, positive and happiness for yourself. The sooner you make this decision for yourself, the easier your life becomes

How Do You Move Forward?

Someone who actively seeks the calling of their heart, who deliberately steps forward with their clear intention and focus on joy, is more balanced, effective, happy and fulfilled then the millions who bump their way through life living in reaction to whatever comes their way.
There are some wonderful business coaches out there with processes and plans on how to grow your business, but what if you have no idea what you want to do?

How do you find alignment with your heart's calling? You could just begin a whole new life adventure, building the blocks for success that are standard for every growing entrepreneur, but five years down the road you may find that you built the foundation on eroding soil... It is so much better to build once you can become clear on your own heart's calling, and begin the journey once you have found your solid ground.

Before I work with men that are going through transitions in life like career move,  relocation, divorce, death of a loved one, we begin with the understanding that each of us holds the key to our happiness. We are the ones calling the shots for our life. There is no one else to blame, and no one whose permission we need in order to find what we came here to do. It is up to us if we want to live in a way that inspires us to reach for more, a way that feeds our soul.

One of the first things we do is to go through the process of gaining clarity from the heart on the direction that best aligns our life with joy and inspiration. Many of us know where we are, but we don't have a clue as to what we really want to do with our life. Many people who are "just to busy" can feel a lack of inspiration, and without that, we will never find the clear path!

Here are three questions that you can ask yourself:
Do I feel that I am living the life I came here to live?
Do I know how to find the direction that my heart is leading me towards?
Do I wake with inspiration and clarity on my path to more joy?

I have found that if I cannot answer yes to those questions, I need to stop and make time to readdress my clarity on the big plan. I could just stay "too busy" but then why would I want to waste another day?
What I have found over the years is that it's not just for those going through a transition, periodically we all need to realign our trajectory, and refocus on a life that allows us to bring forth more of who we came here to be.
Here are some critical steps that have made all the difference in living with intention, instead of our default of reaction to life.
Make the choice, and even better yet, the commitment, to dedicate the REST OF YOUR LIFE to being the best it can be! Don't put this off any longer. Invest in yourself as much as you do in your work and in your family with your heart and your time. You may feel like it's selfish, or you are just too busy, but when you learn to live from this place of truly Being (with a capital B), you will have more to give then you can ever imagine, time slows down and you begin to cherish more and more sacred moments.

Make it a priority to set the bar of your life at the calling of your purpose. Take the steps necessary to quiet your mind and tune into your heart's voice, and then set the bar from there. Not from where you are, not from what you think you might be able to change or do, but from the awareness in opening to the most fulfilling possibilities, allow yourself to open to Your life, and you will find your bliss.

If you don't know where you are going, you are never going to get there. For those who know about Abraham-Hicks or know anything about the Law of Attraction, you know that what we focus on - is what we create in our lives. Now, this can be very tricky - because we may think we are focusing on what we want, by seeing what isn't working, but this is THE KEY in moving forward and finding balance and joy in your life.
We can't focus ourselves away from something we don't want. Let me repeat that: We can't focus ourselves away from something we don't want. What that means is that if we focus on changing something we don't want instead of focusing on the experience of what we DO want, we just keep ourselves stuck in the same ole, same ole.

If you want something more in your life, focus yourself towards what you want through appreciation of the things you can appreciate now, and find comfort where you are as you reach for where you want to be! So many people tell me that they don't even know what they want, they just don't want to do what they have always done.
Well guess what, I've been there too, and if you feel like you are ready to open to the possibilities, that you are ready for a deeper and more fulfilling journey of life, then you are ready to learn how to expand the guidance that is always there for you.

Your inner compass. It will always be there to help you find and follow the path of your heart's calling, to create the life you KNOW you came here to live!
So, to recap the two critical steps that made all the difference in aligning your life with your joy:
Make the commitment, to dedicate the rest of your life to being the best you can be! Don't put this off any longer!
Make it a priority to find the clarity of to your heart's vision and set the bar from there, not from where you are, not from what you think you might be able to change or do, but from the awareness in opening to the calling of your heart, allow yourself to open to the possibilities.

Tuning in to our inner guidance and tuning up our lives is more valuable than we realize. This sense of personal awareness affects our daily outlook, our relationships, and our entire experience of life, including overall health and well-being.
When we learn how to align with the things that make our hearts sing, our lives begin to flow in the most joyous ways!
For more information on programs that provide practical tools for aligning with your heart's calling.

Integrity and Wellness – The Healing Power of Truth

 

INTEGRITY – You’re Life Line
Integrity, what does integrity mean to you? I want you to make a list of the qualities that you believe develops or support your integrity. It’s important that you don’t use others beliefs as your benchmark – you need to dig deep inside yourself and come up with your own values.

If you compare yourself to others – you may find it hard to ‘stack up’ to the examples they set OR you may find their examples to be less than stellar and that you shine as a result (giving little motivation to improve). Either way, you will find it best to look for your own set of values.

Integrity does have one common theme – TRUTH
Once you have that set of values, I want you to “embrace your truth!” This means you need to come to terms with who you are and how you think about things, today. Appreciate the journey you have experienced to date and the lessons you have learned. Remember, the obstacles that you have encountered have molded you into the person you are today so, make the most of the growth you have experienced, but it’s equally important to be honest with yourself as well (after all, life isn’t all roses) thus, building integrity.

Embracing your truth and rejoicing in your journey doesn’t mean you have to broadcast your innermost secrets publically – in fact, it’s an individual exercise that shouldn’t be shared. In doing this integrity exercise, you will find and embrace the marvelous human you are and will, most likely, look at the world differently. You may find you treat others differently than you have previously – and this is a good thing. Remember – under the Law of Attraction, how you treat others will be reflected back onto you!

The Impact of Integrity on Your Health
Your body, mind, and spirit become weak and STRESSED when you don’t know yourself, it is like living a lie. You lose integrity and toughness and can easily come under attack from Dis – Ease (this means NOT being at ease, translate it as “disease”). When your body, or you, is under stress – you output less, meaning you aren’t as effective or efficient in any of your undertakings.

When you “live your truth” and start embracing the person you are (or are striving to be), you gain resilience and are much stronger, it all means that you have integrity. Your mental, spiritual, and physical selves will all show a significant difference and, as a result, you can ward off disease of all types and become healthier overall. Naturally, this doesn’t guarantee that you will never get the flu or other diseases however, if you do catch flu or colds they will be less severe, and likely be short-lived, because your ability to fight disease is much greater.

This is what you gain by having your integrity.
When you gain integrity, you also gain momentum that you can use for the things you want to achieve. Your health can (and will) be repaired with your new found energy.

Great Things Happen Here!

Ways Rich People Think Differently

The way you think sometimes determines your pocket, and the chances of been recognized as a billionaire. With what has been observed from millionaires around the world and in my unique country Nigeria, clearly, rich people think differently and have diverse mentalities about life and money.
The middle class, that is the averaged income group tells people to be happy with what they have and and on the whole, most people are steeped in fear when it comes to money. The truth is, what we are today is actually as a result of our mentality and thoughts.

Practically, I have deducted from my observations so far that:

1. Average people think MONEY is the root of all evil. Rich people believe POVERTY is the root of all evil.
The average person has been brainwashed to believe rich people are lucky or dishonest and that's why there's a certain shame that comes along with "getting rich" in lower-income communities.
The world class knows that while having money doesn't guarantee happiness, it does make your life easier and more enjoyable."

2. Average people think selfishness is a vice. Rich people think selfishness is a virtue.
The rich go out there and try to make themselves happy. They don't try to pretend to save the world.
The problem is that middle class people see that as a negative––and it's keeping them poor.
If you're not taking care of you, you're not in a position to help anyone else. You can't give what you don't have."
3. Average people have a lottery mentality. Rich people have an action mentality.
While the masses are waiting to pick the right numbers and praying for prosperity, the great ones are solving problems. The hero [middle class people] are waiting for may be God, government, their boss or their spouse. It's the average person's level of thinking that breeds this approach to life and living while the clock keeps ticking away.

4. Average people think the road to riches is paved with formal education. Rich people believe in acquiring specific knowledge.
Many world-class performers have little formal education, and have amassed their wealth through the acquisition and subsequent sale of specific knowledge, Meanwhile, the masses are convinced that master's degrees and doctorates are the way to wealth, mostly because they are trapped in the linear line of thought that holds them back from higher levels of consciousness...The wealthy aren't interested in the means, only the end that justifies.

5. Average people long for the good old days. Rich people dream of the future.
Self-made millionaires get rich because they're willing to bet on themselves and project their dreams, goals and ideas into an unknown future.
People who believe their best days are behind them rarely get rich, and often struggle with unhappiness and depression.
6. Average people see money through the eyes of emotion. Rich people think about money logically.
An ordinarily smart, well-educated and otherwise successful person can be instantly transformed into a fear-based, scarcity driven thinker whose greatest financial aspiration is to retire comfortably.
The world class sees money for what it is and what it's not, through the eyes of logic. The great ones know money is a critical tool that presents options and opportunities.
7. Average people earn money doing things they don't love. Rich people follow their passion.
To the average person, it looks like the rich are working all the time. But one of the smartest strategies of the world class is doing what they love and finding a way to get paid for it.On the other hand, middle class take jobs they don't enjoy "because they need the money and they've been trained in school and conditioned by society to live in a linear thinking world that equates earning money with physical or mental effort.

8. Average people set low expectations so they're never disappointed. Rich people are up for the challenge. Psychologists and other mental health experts often advise people to set low expectations for their life to ensure they are not disappointed. No one would ever strike it rich and live their dreams without huge expectations.

9. Average people believe you have to DO something to get rich. Rich people believe you have to BE something to get rich.
That's why people like Donald Trump go from millionaire to nine billion dollars in debt and come back richer than ever. While the masses are fixated on the doing and the immediate results of their actions, the great ones are learning and growing from every experience, whether it's a success or a failure, knowing their true reward is becoming a human success machine that eventually produces outstanding results.

10. Average people believe you need money to make money. Rich people use other people's money.
Linear thought might tell people to make money in order to earn more, but I said that the rich aren't afraid to fund their future from other people's pockets. Rich people know not being solvent enough to personally afford something is not relevant. The real question is, Is this worth buying, investing in, or pursuing?

This is where i have to stop for today, to be continued in the next edition.

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BE AWARE OF YOURSELF

The challenge could actually be to manifest as being torn between having fun and having too much work! Your consciousness wants to go out and jump but your sub- consciousness might just say "Not until you get ALL your work done!" Hence the mantra is about finding the balance.
Will you find the balance in your life? It is not easy as you might have a lot of work and still you feel you need to slow down. Give yourself the allowance to step out and party or allow romance. Turn the love light on and start to share abundant love by starting to love yourself.

Then go one step deeper and find out what you are really passionate about. Be dynamic and experience your adaptability and communication. You will find tension when you want to get things and feelings from others. This means you have the power to love yourself, be grateful for what happens in your life. This may be the sunshine, the flowers in the neighbor’s garden or the smile of the person you meet on the way to work.
Now we have reached Virgo and the Virgo signs want everything perfect and they love to control. But be sure if you are getting to big things slow down. Be aware how big your piece of the cake is! Do not overeat, overtalk  and overwork! Instead get out and enjoy yourself and recharge your batteries.
Be aware of your feelings and needs. In times of change we all need time for ourselves. Make sure you give yourself time for meditation or a walk in nature. It could be your time out to take a relaxing bath. Just find out what is the best to slow down.

I am firmly convinced that we cannot continue with our present consciousness any longer. It keeps us where we are right now and on the other side the cosmic forces challenge us and support us to raise our consciousness. It is therefore quite obvious that we must move forward, this is already clearly visible. It is a wonderful experience; if you can you engage in it. You do not have to stay where you are right now, you always can change any second to chart a new path and evolve. Just now you even receive the support of the entire universe. The only thing stopping you might be your fears and worries. Do not let fear and anxiety continue ruling your life. Always remember that you are the master who is responsible and runs your life.

Start with taking responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and actions!
Life is breathing in and out, sitting still within then jumping to shout. As I value both with equal measure, I guarantee a brighter future!"

THE BEST OF YOUR LIFE TODAY

Accept that today is the start of “THE BEST OF YOUR LIFE”. I have lived life in great poverty and have also had the privilege of sharing in the abundance of financial wellbeing, which flows all around us. Take it from me; money is most certainly not everything. It does bring along with it certain material comforts, power, prestige and superficial enjoyment, but absolutely no meaning or fulfillment. On the other hand, investing in becoming the best possible version of yourself possible, where you become a better contributor to everyone around you, most certainly is the way to enjoy real meaning and fulfillment.

Become more, working to become the type of person, who deserves the long term sustainable, meaningful success, you desire is a wonderful way invest your most valuable asset, namely your time. Remember that as you become more, yes you get to attract more, but you also get to give more too. You become a better friend, mentor, philanthropist, spouse and employee. When you are committed to consistently grow and expand you will have discovered a very satisfying and fulfilling way to spend the rest of your life. Experiencing consistent growth and becoming a greater contributor to the world is a wonderful way to sustain you and expand the universe.

Invite Harmony into Every Facet of your Life
Real meaning and fulfillment is achieved when you strive to flourish in every area of your life. This then begs the question, “If you could do better than you currently are doing in any area of your life, should you”? I do not think there are too many people that would say no to these questions.
If you could improve your health, shouldn’t you do that?
If you could improve your relationships and spirituality, shouldn’t you do that?
If you could improve your financial position, shouldn’t you improve it?
If you could improve your career and turn it into your vocation, shouldn’t you do that?
If you could improve your support and give back to the community shouldn’t you do that?
If you could keep improving and growing by investing into on-going lifelong learning shouldn’t you do that?


Inviting meaning and fulfillment into your experience, is a process, it is never an event. Stay committed to improving your life, you will begin to experience satisfaction all the time and you will see remarkable progress in yourself, your relationships, family, business, career and health. When you strive to achieve harmony in all areas of your life, you will begin to experience legitimate and sustainable success.

Don’t try to be the Best, Be your Best
Keep striving to create the best possible version of yourself. No one can expect you to be any better than your best, but on the other hand, you will never find complete happiness, fulfillment and satisfaction unless you constantly strive to be your best. You will most likely never achieve perfection; although, I do not believe that perfection was ever our goal. The true objective is to become as great as you possibly can.

As long as you are constantly striving to be a little better today than you were yesterday, you will find true joy and meaning in life. As real meaning flows from your commitment to constant improvement and growth in everything you do. Work to improve your philosophy, attitude, language, thoughts and actions every day and you will discover real joy and happiness. This small shift will allow you to uncover the best possible version of yourself, who will be a great contributor to everyone around you.. Working to become “THE BEST POSSIBLE YOU” is everything and most definitely worth the investment of your time and energy.

Excellence Comes from Within and Without

Steve Jobs, past CEO of Apple, said it best when he proclaimed, “Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren't used to an environment where excellence is expected.”
Is excellence your strong suit at work and at home? Do you think excellence stops when you walk through the front door where your family awaits you at day’s end? Don’t your loved ones deserve the same quality of person at home that you are at work?

Excellence comes from a positive attitude within and positive energy surroundings without. Have you paved the way for excellence in your thinking and in your surroundings so you can maintain that same level wherever you are?
Because excellence thrives on positive energy, it is important to generate as much positive energy as possible whether at home or work. A negative outlook on life or a lot of physical clutter in your path acts as mental and emotional constipation inhibits and prevents forward movement, improved relationships and quality of life. Expect excellence and it will manifest itself, but do not confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence is defined as quality or state of being that is outstanding and superior, the best you can be at that moment in time, whereas perfection is someone being flawless or without fault.
At home, excellence is all about nurturing and connecting family relationships, so they can be a singular unit supportive of each other with the home as their sanctuary. At work, excellence helps a business grow financially, expand its services and find new sources of income. It provides a low-stress environment, encourages productive focused employees and realizes satisfied customers.
This type of excellence comes from creating a lifestyle based on the sonny’s principles of eliminating clutter that stands in the way and creating an environment that encourages new and uplifting thoughts.

Make Room for Excellence Within
Excellence begins with a focused desire within to be the best you can be and not focus on all the woes of the day, week or year(s). Creating excellence within begins with a mind that is free of clutter, focused on quality and receptive to new ideas and change. You can’t live in yesterday’s failures and disappointments if you expect to be a person of quality and excellence tomorrow.
Eliminate yesterday’s negatives and make room for tomorrow’s opportunities by writing down the negative thoughts and experiences from the past that are holding you back onto a tablet or into a computer document. Then take that paper or computer document and trash, shred or delete it. Do not allow any additional negative thoughts to enter – they do not serve you well nor do they help you achieve the excellence you desire. In the beginning this may seem like an endless project but this process of elimination, if diligently maintained, will work. When the desire is great, quality and excellence will always overcome the negatives and failure.

If you’ve had a bad day at work, leave it at work. Do not bring it home and dump it on your family - check it at the door and change your thinking. Excellence at home means maintaining the home as a sacred sanctuary. Reverse this process for going to work if you’ve had a bad experience at home.
Eliminating all negative thinking from your daily activities is an ongoing process. Treasure your thoughts wisely as they are more valuable than gold.
Make Room for Excellence Without
Clutter is every bit as much of a problem in your surroundings as it is in your mind. Eliminate things that are broken or no longer needed. File stacks of paper as needed. Save them as permanent records or as part of on-going work and trash the rest. Old inventory, piles of paper, broken and outdated items, cluttered desks and counters create negative energy and do not allow for excellence to thrive. Clutter is external constipation in your surroundings and much like in the mind, prevents excellence in the form of new business ideas, new clients, and new income-generating revenue streams.
Relationships at home and work are critical to your success. Not only do you need energized employees that stay focused and have a high work ethic, but you also need satisfied customers and a happy home life. Good relationships, whether personal or professional, turn into helpful people in your life and improve upon your excellence. It is helpful people that spread by word of mouth how good you are or how well they were treated by you. It is helpful supportive people that bring you new customers. They are your best walking and talking advertisement, support system and cheerleader all in one.

Expect Excellence
It isn’t enough to say you want to achieve excellence. You not only need to expect it, demand it and reach for it but also invite it into your life. Attraction requires action! Take the steps above and then leave open an eternal pipeline to constantly receive new and expansive thinking that will take you to the next level of excellence. A person of quality and excellence never remains stationary. They are constantly doing everything necessary to move forward, improve and expand their horizons by reading, doing volunteer work and finding creative outlets – and along on their road to excellence, they inspire others through encouragement or by example.
Excellence serves the business community in the same way it serves in the home. When excellence is encouraged and shown by example, it raises the level of quality throughout. Expect excellence and set an environment where it is not only desired but demanded and it will happen.

Develop Your Resilience – Toughen Up to Succeed in Life

Have you ever been down in the dumps, questioned your life’s purpose, or failed at something and subsequently asked yourself, “Where do I go from here?” We all reach periods in our life that challenge our very being and force us to take actions that are difficult and even frightening. Choosing to take those daunting actions will forever solidify the nature of your character, your self-acceptance, and your self-respect.

The unknown crossroads we all encounter bring forth life lessons that pave the way for our future, happiness, and fulfillment. They present us with turning points or forks in the road; the ultimate decision of which path to take will contribute to what your life will become. Those actions will also formulate the answer to the question, “What will you be remembered for?”
The behavioral attribute and resource to harness the strength to be decisive and eventually persevere through uncertainty is individual resilience. Resilience is defined as “able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions; able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed.” Resilience will triumph over self-doubt, failure, and a lack of self-respect every time.

Resilience fuels perseverance, which accelerates the journey to success. A solid level of resilience rests in the core values you believe in, but most important, it is acting on and living a life reflective of those core values. Acting on your core values resiliently promotes every other characteristic of success, including integrity, personal honesty, accountability, self-respect, attitude, professionalism, humility, and empathy to name a few. A saying attributed to the Chinese Philosopher Chuang Tzu states, “Heaven is internal, humanity external, and virtue comes from the heavenly. Know heaven and humanity’s actions; root yourself in heaven and follow virtue. Then you can bend, stretch, rush forward, or hold back, because you will always return to the core and it will be said you have achieved the supreme.”

Rewards of Resiliency
Recognizing the interdependency of the many principles of success resulting from your resiliency will provide you with a blueprint for self-understanding and achievement. You are the architect of your life’s design and the construction manager of its progress. The rewards for being resilient include learning from the struggle, adding a new life experience, reflecting with a different perspective, and gaining a greater appreciation for what you have.
The birth of resilient behavior stems from our upbringing and the parental and environmental influences we experienced. It is widely accepted that growing up around resilient individuals strengthens a person’s resiliency. Most important, we all have the ability to be resilient by practicing the core values we believe in. It is bouncing back from failure and disappointment that puts the spring in our step because it provides self-confidence to carry on.

They are “10 Ways to Build Resilience”
• Maintain good relationships with close family members, friends, and others.
• Avoid seeing crises or stressful events as unbearable problems.
• Accept circumstances that cannot be changed.
• Develop realistic goals and move toward them.
• Take decisive action in adverse situations.
• Look for opportunities of self-discovery after a struggle with loss.
• Develop self-confidence.
• Keep a long-term perspective and consider the stressful events in a broader context.
• Maintain a hopeful outlook, expecting good things and visualizing what is wished.
• Take care of one’s mind and body, exercising regularly, paying attention to one’s own needs and feelings, and engaging in relaxing activities that one enjoys.

Additionally, believe you have the ability to be resilient and pursue the dreams you wish for. I genuinely believe everyone wants to be the best they possibly can be in all facets of life. We have all made mistake and we will make others along our life’s journey, but as Friedrich Nietzsche so simply stated, “That which does not destroy, strengthens.” Enjoy the strength in being you.

What's Holding You Back from Starting Over?

Has life dropped a big ball and chain around your feet? Do you feel like you’re sleep walking through life, unable to move frozen with some form of fear, fear about the future, fear about Starting Over and how to positively move forward?
Yes, it is an uncomfortable place to be, but the good news is, regardless of your age 35 or 70, all that can be changed.
Today, with so many social pressures often experienced through some form of loss, like the impact of GFC, it’s not uncommon for people to grapple with mental gremlins and blocks that hold them back from Starting Over.
While some of those mental blocks could have been there since childhood they can become more pronounced when some big loss occurs – be it financial, job, career, loss of a loved one, divorce.

However, we were not born with those blocks, those fears, rather for a variety of reasons we gather them along the way during our life, up to now.
With that in mind, let’s do a little visualising … a little dreaming.
What do you wish you could do if there were no limitations, if you had no gremlins or blocks whatsoever, and you knew you could not fail?
Do you have a little voice deep down that says...
‘Oh I’d love to do something new
I desperately want to change my life
I really want to write a book
I want to start a new career
I want to earn money again. I need to
I want to live life again
I desperately want to Start Over

When you begin thinking, wishing, and dreaming this way do any little mental demons creep or even instantly pop in to your mind, perhaps saying:
‘I don’t have the money. No ... I couldn’t. It’s too late. I’d have to learn too many new things. I don’t have the energy. My brain is too lazy. It’s too complicated. I don’t know how to. I’m too old.’
What if you changed the word ‘I,’ to another person saying those words? Has some else in your life said to you:
‘You don’t have the money. It would take you too long. It’s too late for you to do anything new. No ... you just can’t. You don’t have the energy. You’re too lazy. It’s too complicated for you. Anyway you don’t know how to.’

If any of those negative phrases are said or thought repeatedly, either by you to yourself, (and they can if you’ve been feeling depressed) or by someone else in your life, it doesn’t take long before you start believing those negative words to be true. And sadly, up to now, that is the way you may have been living your life.

Take a look at these two questions … and answer them honestly.
Do you know what is holding YOU back? Is it doubt, fear, worry about money, stress, others, does it seem too complicated, or is there something else you can specify?
Can you identify what’s holding you back from Starting Over?
Another good way to begin looking at that question is to ask yourself: ‘Is my life balanced?’

Talking about is my life balance, how balanced is your life?
Here’s a simple exercise to look at: Write down the following words, or at the least areas on the left.
Fun & Enjoyment - Happiness Hobbies
Relationships, Spouse - Current or future Life Partner
Business & Career - Job satisfaction, Career path
Family - Children, Parents, Relatives
Social - Friends, Sport, Activities
Health & Vitality - Exercise, Diet Wellbeing
Prosperity & Money - Savings, Investments
Personal Growth - Personal-space, Spiritual, Artistic, Self Development

1. Grade each of the eight areas, by writing a number from 1–10. (10 being totally satisfied with that area ‘1’ being lowest.) Do this without analysing the areas.Write whatever number comes to your mind first. This is important.
2. Then look at your scores. What are two lowest?
3. Which two areas would you most like to move forward?
4. Moving forward. How would you feel if you could significantly move forward in both?
5. List some actions (even baby steps) you could take to start moving forward, in both areas.

Now revisit those five areas.
Are there any issues within one or more areas that are holding you back? What answer immediately comes to mind? Write that down.
Does fear play a part in any of these areas? Be honest with yourself and if it does, you’re not alone. Fear plays a huge part in most people’s lives and holds them back from moving forward. Fear is often the core issue of why people say it’s too late, or too difficult to Start Over, to start a new phase of life.

Fear is a huge issue yet it can be turned around. These are just some areas in which fear plays a massive yet unnecessary role. Do any sound familiar?
Fear of being judged, of rejection, of embarrassment, of being alone or abandoned, of failure, of success, of intimacy of expressing feelings, of the unknown, and fear of not being good enough, and all these can be cleared or reduced, so you can move forward positively.

This Revealing Exercise  Removes Some Barriers
One way of quickly removing some barriers that hold people back from Starting Over is this little exercise You will see why you can Start Over and why there’s ‘tons of time’ to do many things. The first age of 83 is based on statistics. Hand write your answer for these questions, don’t use the computer:
What is the average age, Western people pass away?
What is your age now? e.g. 35 45 50 55 60
Now subtract your age from 83 and you get 48 38 33 31 23
You guessed it, if you are 45 you have 38 years of your adult life left, so forget thinking how many years you have been on this planet. What are you going to do with those three, nearly four decades remaining? Remember some people live an active life well beyond 83. Why assume that’s when you’ll die?

Most people have far more of their adult life left than they realise. When you do come to that realisation, right away some barriers fall away and you feel a new sense of energy and vigour.
Let’s get back to reality:
The world is rapidly changing every few years. A new world presents new challenges... and new opportunities for people of every age.
It makes sense if you don’t want your life to be the same in 5 years time, as it is now, it’s necessary for you to adopt new strategies for your wealth, health, happiness and overall wellbeing.
Remember, you are in this world once.
If you want to change your life and Start Over, you need to make some changes and take action! No one else will do that for you.
So where would you like to be in five years time?
What are you going to do … waste that precious time? Why not do something you’ve always wanted to do?
Be a star in your show…. the new chapter of your life. You can become an author, you can get a new career, you can live life again, you certainly can Start Over.
Realistically, you probably realise you won’t appear on the front cover of a fashion magazine, or be in the movies with your favourite film star, or become an astronaut, but you can become a star in your own unique show.
Your show … the show of your life. Regardless of your age, you can make this next chapter of your life the best ever. You can do that.

Sunny okonkwo

IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT SKILLS

Relationship management becomes more important as you assume more professional responsibility. You need skills to build bonds, inspire, influence and develop others. All the while you need to be open to change, manage conflict and establish teamwork.
Emotional Intelligence author Daniel Goleman believes it is possible to build better relationships one step at a time. This is accomplished by focusing on six competencies in the Relationship Management domain of Emotional Intelligence:
1. Inspire
2. Influence
3. Develop
4. Initiate change
5. Manage conflict
6. Establish teams and collaboration

Let’s look for some ideas about how to be successful in each of these domains.

1. Inspiration often begins with a time of quiet reflection about nagging questions. In the process of examining feelings which include anxiety, confusion and passion, often a vision becomes clear which helps to understand the larger purpose or mission. For inspiration to truly happen, the vision has to be spelled out to others in a compelling style. In this way, others hopefully will “buy into” the ideas and plan. Individuals who inspire others:
• Draw on the collective wisdom of others
• Involve others to look at the reality and the ideal vision
• Are able to connect with people’s emotional centers as well as intellectually.

2. Influence is one of the three ingredients of a democratic leader. Teamwork and conflict management are the other two ingredients and will be discussed later. Influence also requires effectively handling others’ emotions. You may have been in situations where you influenced someone’s mood, or he/she influenced your mood. Individuals with a high level of influence:
• Skillfully win people over by listening, networking with them, etc.
• Fine-tune what they are going to say to appeal to the listener
• Willingly use a variety of strategies to build consensus and support.

3. Developing others is a skill needed by managers who supervise others and are responsible for the growth of employees in their department or division. Individuals with a high level in developing others:
• Acknowledge and reward people’s strengths and accomplishments
• Offer helpful feedback and accurately target needs for further growth
• Mentor, coach, and offer tasks that challenge and foster a person’s skills.

4. Initiating change or being a change catalyst requires consistent modeling of the behaviors you want to see in others. You begin by questioning the emotional reality and cultural norms underlying daily activities and behaviors. How others feel about the change process needs to be considered. Individuals who are easily able to initiate change:
• Recognize the need for change
• Challenge the status quo
• Make compelling arguments for change
• Find practical ways to overcome barriers to change.

5. Managing conflict requires being able to understand different perspectives and finding a common solution that everyone can endorse. It requires good listening skills  and self-control. Individuals who have good conflict management skills:
• Handle difficult people and tense situations tactfully
• Spot potential conflict and help de-escalate the situation
• Encourage open discussion
• Work for win-win solutions.
6. Teamwork and collaboration model respect, helpfulness and cooperation.
Both work and home are happier when these conditions are met. When teams work well, turnover and absenteeism decline and productivity  increases. Individuals who have strong teamwork and collaboration skills:
• Draw all members into active participation
• Build a team identity and commitment
• Protect the group and share credit.
It is now known that emotions are contagious. In addition, every encounter with another person can be anywhere on a continuum from emotionally toxic to nourishing.
In summary, to improve your relationship management skills, you want people to be able to turn towards you rather than away or against you. To have good relationship management skills you need to use the following 5 tips:
1. Develop open, honest, trusting relationships.
2. Have self-respect and show respect to others, especially if you are responsible for their development.
3. Have good communication skills including listening, assertiveness and conflict management
4. Understand what a change process entails, and be willing to lead people through it.
5. Be a good team member and encourage collaboration.
Being an effective manager not only makes you look good, it improves the skills of those you supervise and makes them look good. That is a “win-win” for everybody

Is That Change of Perspective Inside of You?

I find at times the need to remind myself of things that I already know. For example, I find myself annoyed with what I’m hearing on my car radio and instead of remembering I can either change the station, put on a CD of my choice or turn the radio off, I’ll continue listening until I’m upset about what I have heard. Or I’ll find myself making a choice to do something because “I believe” my wife might want me to do it a certain way. To be fair, she has not asked me to do it the way that was not comfortable for me, but I assumed she would want it a certain way and wind up getting myself upset in the process if the result of my actions does not turn out well. I’ve been a professional coach for over three years, and learned long ago during my studies that only I have the power to influence how I choose to view or approach a situation. And, yet at times – until I step back and reflect on how I have been conducting myself – I do not realize what I have been doing.


It is human nature that when things are not going well in our life we look for reasons that are outside of oneself. We point to the actions of others, we blame the environment around us or we just look at just having bad fortune as reasons. Certainly, external forces do happen and many times they impact people who in no way expected them to happen. However, more often than not, those items that are holding us back or keeping us at a pattern of unrest are internal to us. And, while they may not be immediately apparent or even at times easy to accept, the good news is they are things we can choose to address.

For example, I found in my car radio example that listening exclusively to music, either via CDs or on stations that played nothing but music and offered nothing in the way of opinion, made the driving experience again pleasurable for me. My job search clients find that being able to build a structured campaign that has them first assessing who they are, what things motivate them when they have been successful, and using those traits to help identify potential jobs to target, has worked far better for them than just randomly sending out resumés and hoping to hear on job openings. My life coaching clients learn over the course of time in working with me about all the options open to them, in viewing each and every situation that comes into their life, and they often report back to me when they have attempted a new behaviour– how that has been more successful for them than trying the same approaches of the past. It is amazing how stubborn we can be in trying to be successful in making something work for us when it has continued not to work and frustrate us before. A change in perspective not only provides a change in how something is done but actually may change our outlook in terms of our ability to accomplish it.

What has not been going right in your life lately? Is there something that has been continually making you feel frustrated? If so, have you taken the time to really think it through? What is the root cause of your distress? What pieces of it are in your control? (If your answer is “nothing is in my control” rethink that answer again. Even if there are aspects that you cannot change, you do have the ability to change your viewpoint of those items). Once you have identified what has been bothering you, what is a first step that you can do to address it? Does it involve doing something differently that you have been doing by routine? Is it to avoid or stop doing something that only angers you to do? Perhaps it is to try an approach that you may have been introduced to in the past, but resisted. Or, could it be as straightforward as answering to yourself that you do not want your energy being drained by a situation that frankly isn’t worth the frustration you have been allowing it to cause?

As I indicated earlier, even one as experienced as a coach does not always realize that it’s time to change perspective, until they have taken a step back. It’s your choice if you want to live with continual frustration. If your answer is that you do not want to do so, the change you need to make is inside of yourself.

LIBRA 2012 HOROSCOPE

Love and relationships in 2012: Your love life is almost certainly going to pick up substantially this year. All the endless lessons you’ve been learning via your partner or your ex should be taken on board and then moved on from. Now you can expect a roller coaster ride that takes your breath away, rather than leaving you feeling like you’ve been run over by a truck! It’s still chaotic but chances are, it’s good-chaotic. 

Your work/life balance in 2012: The second part of 2012 is when you get your life back! After a very intense couple of years when work or the search for good work has left you feeling exhausted, you should start to feel like a burden is being lifted off your shoulders. Yes, you can actually have some time off, so what are you waiting for? Book it. PS Check the past few years haven’t turned you into a work-a-holic.

Your best things in 2012: By the end of 2012, you should be able to see how all your efforts over the past few years actually did prove worth it in the end. Financially, you should start feeling more secure than you have done in years, assuming you’re saving and spending cleverly. Travel and study are also very well-starred this year.  

Love and relationships in 2012: Your love life is almost certainly going to pick up substantially this year. All the endless lessons you’ve been learning via your partner or your ex should be taken on board and then moved on from. Now you can expect a roller coaster ride that takes your breath away, rather than leaving you feeling like you’ve been run over by a truck! It’s still chaotic but chances are, it’s good-chaotic. 

Your work/life balance in 2012: The second part of 2012 is when you get your life back! After a very intense couple of years when work or the search for good work has left you feeling exhausted, you should start to feel like a burden is being lifted off your shoulders. Yes, you can actually have some time off, so what are you waiting for? Book it. PS Check the past few years haven’t turned you into a work-a-holic.

Your best things in 2012: By the end of 2012, you should be able to see how all your efforts over the past few years actually did prove worth it in the end. Financially, you should start feeling more secure than you have done in years, assuming you’re saving and spending cleverly. Travel and study are also very well-starred this year.