Using your time wisely and finding success is founded on self-knowledge and self-respect. You might think that it requires organization skills and discipline - and those things are certainly important. But even more important to your time success is being your own best friend.
In everyday practice what that means is finding time to listen, understand, and stand up for yourself. When you are in your own corner and you know that you can count on YOU, there's not much that can stand in your way.
Maybe you'll feel momentarily paralyzed by a project that is coming due. Maybe you'll feel undercut by someone's criticism or challenged by their urgency, but you know that you can (and will) always step in as a friend and make your life manageable again.
How?
Well, your first step is to get to know yourself better and, specifically, to understand how you relate to challenges now. Here's an exercise that helps you get a sense of this for yourself:
The Short Jump Visualization:
1. If you were asked to jump as far as you could, you would most likely do so easily and immediately. Picture yourself doing it. Do you give yourself a running start? How far do you get and how do you feel?
2. Now, envision jumping the same distance, but this time picture yourself leaping over an area covered with sticky tar. Do you hesitate? How do you feel?
2. Now, envision jumping the same distance, but this time picture yourself leaping over an area covered with sticky tar. Do you hesitate? How do you feel?
3. Next, envision that you must leap this distance between two platforms, with a fifty-foot drop between them. How do you feel now? What do you do?
In all likelihood, you will never have to jump over an abyss – at least I hope not! And the wonderful thing is that we often have a lot more control over our challenges than we realize. So, how about this idea? Instead of upping the ante when confronted with something you're not sure you can do, try lowering the stakes.
1. Deflate catastrophic thinking. Ask yourself what's the worst thing that can realistically happen if you don't complete the job well and on time. Once the fears have been deflated you often find that you can honor your commitment. AND you move ahead by making an empowered choice, rather than feeling compelled.
2. Explore your options. Break your project into smaller steps, and ask for help where it makes sense. Obtaining support to meet a commitment is a responsible use of everyone's time.
3. What does success look like, realistically? You can easily sabotage yourself with high (and self-imposed) expectations. Remember, it's rare to see one project make or break one's life. Take the time to realistically frame what can be accomplished (and expected). Once you let go of being superhuman, it's a lot easier to move!
So long as you rely on fear to motivate yourself, you won't feel in charge of your life or your time. But when you befriend yourself, pay attention to how you are feeling, and walk with yourself through challenges, you'll be amazed at what you can do. As you develop your realism, compassion and assertiveness you enjoy growing confidence and growing success!
And here's another way that you can become a better friend to yourself and make the most of your time … by learning to dispel the voices of self-criticism that hold you back!
My new Exercise and Guide Book titled, "These Critical Voices Are Driving Me Crazy!' How to Use Positive Self-Talk to Save Your Sanity and Your Time!" offers proven techniques, practical exercises, and powerful tips for learning to recognize the critical voices you carry inside.
We really can quiet those disruptive, haunting and hostile voices AND make conscious choices about the kinds of messages that we give ourselves.
This Exercise and Guide Book gives you a step-by-step path to take back your power and counter the self-criticism that saps your confidence, your energy, and your time. Don't let those hurtful voices hold you hostage!
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