One of the best ways to begin the process of being truer to
yourself is to stop acting or “per-forming” with a primary impetus being to
appease others. Granted, there are times and places when it is necessary to act
within certain parameters, such as in a work environment.
However, we all go through times of feeling socially unfulfilled
or disconnected, and while seeking approbation and acceptance from a niche du
jour, may overcompensate by acting in a manner that belies our true-self. It is
actually pretty ironic that at times we may seek personal approval and
acceptance from others by not acting like yourself. Yes indeed, life can at
times be a stage.
When defining yourself more through the eyes of others than your
inner truth, it is not uncommon to begin thinking, feeling and acting less like
yourself and more as you would assume they would prefer you to be. However,
whatever your assumptions of the preferences of others may be, you may or may
not be very accurate nor your actions necessarily expected or effective.
Think about it, you’re assumptions of the preferences of others
is based on how they are acting or what they are saying, but what if they are
doing the same thing you are? What if they are being just as untrue to
themselves and putting on their own show, for the same reasons?
Seeking approval and connection through submission and
imitation, though flattering, will neither endear you very deeply to others,
nor allow you to connect with, understand, trust and grow confident in
yourself. It will also not give you that which your heart ultimately needs and
desires; genuine connections and rewarding interactions with others; emotional
realities that can ultimately only take root from within you.
If your impetus is to connect with others on deeper levels, try
making an honest effort to act and react to life and to them truer to the one
person whose innermost opinions truly matter and in whose reality your true happiness lies; your true-self. Who you really
are, is an authentic individual who is no less deserving of happiness than anyone else! Maybe it’s time to
take a step back and look at yourself as a real human being with a viable heart
that deserves to be respected and appeased as much as anyone’s!
Also take heart in knowing that with enough time and
self-discovery, far deeper, more mean-ingful and satisfying interactions of
greater depth and care, and under better circumstances, will find their own
time and place in your life. And that you will enjoy them all the more as they
are experienced as a genuine extension of your true heart.
Love you as always, never try hard to please someone, be self-ful
and be you. Check out for next post.
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