Where would you be if you learned how to stop caring what other people think?
As humans, we have a primal need to fit in. In
order to be initiated into the tribe, we try to come across as “normal” people.
We often express ourselves conservatively, in order to not come across as weird
or awkward.
The truth is everyone is normal (average) until
you really get to know them. Owning your actions and making yourself vulnerable
in front of others can be incredibly difficult at times but in the end it is
healthier for you and for those around you. Here are 11 reasons why you should
stop caring what other people think.
1. You use
less energy filtering your words and actions, and expend more energy on
creating relationships
If interacting with others is like driving a car,
then filtering your words and actions is like putting speed bumps all over your
highway of interaction. The more speed bumps you have, the slower you have to
go to avoid losing control of your car. It becomes incredibly difficult to gain
momentum, and takes a long time to reach your final destination (making an
emotional connection and mutually benefiting each other). Isn’t that why we
interact with people?
The more you filter yourself, the less people will
truly get to know you. You might be a Mercedes Benz in your head, but as you
constantly filter yourself, you’re going to come across as an old, beat-up Ford
Pinto.
2. You
become much more attractive
There is something inherently attractive about
someone who doesn’t care what other people think. I’m not saying that more
people will like you; there is a difference between being likeable and being
attractive. Having an indifferent, carefree attitude is refreshing and
contagious, and is a great way to help others break out of their “autopilot”.
Think of it this way. If you’re confident and
don’t care what others think, people are going to want to be noticed by you,
not use you to feel better about themselves.
3.
You attract people that are good for you, and eliminate the ones that aren’t
Having a mindset of not caring what others think
is a self-weeding garden. The people that appreciate your opinions and enjoy
your company will stick with you, while the people that don’t like you will
stay away from you.
The feeling of being well-liked is great, but
having too many “friends” can be stressful and difficult to manage. You have to
ask yourself if you want a wide array of shallow relationships with
acquaintances, or a more concentrated group of deep and meaningful friendships.
4.
You don’t feel obligated to change yourself for people
You don’t have to wear a ton of hats for all your
different social situations. Trying to fit into a variety of groups can be
exhausting, and is not a worthwhile endeavor. It is healthier and less
stressful to simply be respected for being who you want to be.
5.
You please yourself instead of trying to please everyone
Who are you really living for? It’s not selfish to
please yourself at times, because after all, you are at the center of your own
universe. Doing things for others is a great way to boost your self-esteem, but
you have to ask yourself: am I getting what I want out of life?
